I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and it was a really big Italian wedding. The whole day was simply beautiful, from the ceremony to the decorations to the flowers and the food, no expense was spared. Truly a story-book wedding that I have no doubt that the bride and the groom will never forget.
I am a divorce lawyer. As I sat there and watched this event unfold, I began to wonder, how do couples like this end up at a divorce court? How do two people who clearly love each other at one point, and who celebrated their life together in what is probably one of the best days of their lives, then become opponents or worse, enemies?
When you have a strong emotional connection with somebody, an intense love can become an intense hate for that person. Are love and hate really opposites of the same coin?
My answer? It is entirely up to you. If you are going to separate, it can and should be done civilly. That is not to say it is going to be easy- because most likely it won’t be. But make the decision right at the beginning that you will not let it become ugly. It is your life. Don’t let other’s take over the process. You will both be better off if you choose to mediate and try to minimize your conflict, you would be doing your children a major service. Conflict is what damages children- not the separation. One more thing- before you go to a meeting to sit down and resolve your issues. Remember how you felt on the day you got married. Hopefully, it will make you see the big picture.